How to Annoy the Heckle out of Vlad Masters
by Skellingtonfan1
Summary: I go to the DP universe and make Vladdy miserable, all in the sake of boredom. Rated because I use THE HAMMER! X3


**Hi...I'm sorry for not updating Facing the Fear or DP Craziness..but I've been busy. I thought of a new OC, and put her in a Teen Titans story. I'm going to do the entire first season with her in it, so I've been putting my attention there. Read it, it's called A Rebel in Jump City**

**Disclaimer : I don't own DP. If I did I would've made the series last FOREVUH! **

Vlad Masters was enjoying his day, watching the Packers and petting his cat. He was so calm, no reason to get up or-

**DING DONG! DING DONG! DING-DONG-DING-DONG-DING-DONG-DING-DONG!**

Vlad's eye twitched. He got up and yanked open the door, finding a...teenage girl. She was short, with pale skin and freckles dotting her nose and under her eyes.

She had grayish blue eyes, brown hair with natural blonde highlights, a funky violet stripe going down one side near her face, and a large...something dangling from the side of her pants. She wore a form fitting black t-shirt that said Feel The Music, black flare leg jeans, and black boots. On her hands were totally awesome fingerless black gloves.

"Hi Vladdie!" She waved.

"Whatever it is you're selling, I'm not buying." Vlad tried to slam the door but the girl stuck her boot out.

"I'm not here to sell anything. I'm here to...uh..." She forgot to think of an excuse for coming over! "I'm...your daughter...from the future? Yeah, that's it!" She beamed.

"What is your name?" Vlad asked.

"Skellingtonfan1. Some call me Skell, some call me Siena, some guy next to a water fountain called me Anitra." The girl smiled. "You got any food?" She flipped her hair, which went down to her shoulder blades.

Vlad was speechless.

"SWEET! AN X-BOX!" The girl rushed in and picked up a controller, playing a random game. She quit after a few seconds and ran to get a bag of chips.

"Where are your parents?' Vlad asked, slamming the door.

"My mom is in Texas hanging with her friend Carl, and my father Hades is ruling the underworld."

"I thought you said I was your father?" Vlad raised an eyebrow.

"That's just what the aliens want you to think." She poked him in the chest with a piece of chicken before taking a bite.

"Get out of my house." Vlad ordered.

"Can't. According to my rights as an Authoress of DOOM I can hang out anywhere I want." She pulled out an official looking document. "READ IT AND WEEP, PRINCESS CUDDLY McFLANDERS!"

"I can force you out." He threatened.

"And I'll tell CNN about you being half ghost." The girl countered.

Vlad sighed and decided to let the matter rest. "Are you going to leave anytime soon?"

"Maybe. Depends on how much fun I have here. If I get bored I'll just pop back into my universe and watch TV."

Princess Cuddly McFlanders sighed and left. A few seconds later...

"HOLY CHEESE NUGGETS!" Skell screamed. She smiled and began to dance. "I LOVE THIS SONG! EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! BOM, BOM BOM BOM BOM!"

Vlad sat in a corner and tried to figure out what was going on. She knew about him being half ghost, she could do whatever she wanted and he couldn't harm her, and she was somehow altering reality.

Ho noticed she had a large hammer with her. It hung at one of her belt loops, and seemed to be made of metal and stone. She took it out and began to battle with a suit of armor.

"HAVE AT THEE!" She threw it and it crashed, turning the armor into scarp metal. She picked the hammer back up and smiled. "Thank God for Christmas parties, otherwise I wouldn't have the blackmail to keep this." She thought of the photo in her undersea getaway, where Hades was in a tutu and Thor was dancing in his underpants with a lampshade on his head.

"Where on Earth did you get that hammer?" Vlad asked.

"Thor, the god of thunder." She saw Vlad's stare. "Last year the yearly Christmas party was held on Olympus, and everyone was dancing and being all happy, when Mr. D spiked the punch, and since I hate punch I wasn't affected, and then the gods started getting all tipsy, which led to a very embarrassing photo that I'm blackmailing them all with, where Thor was dancing with Hades in a tutu and Thor was in his underpants with a lampshade on his head-"

"You can stop there." They stood in silence for a moment. Then Skell bit him. "OW!"

"MEEP MEEP!" Skell took off in a blur, swinging the hammer around randomly. "MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"GET BACK HERE!" Vlad changed into his ghost form, and phased through the wall to see Skell and a boy in black and yellow holding a stick.

"Hi Vlad. This is Cedric Diggory. He died in the graveyard in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and was changed into a gay sparkling vampire." The boy shook hands with him, and shook his greasy head and splattered grease against Vlad's carpeting.

"Thanks Cedric. Since you're a gay vampire now, I have to stake you." She took out a wooden stake and used the hammer to...well you get the idea.

Vlad grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her off the ground. "Who are you? What are you doing here? Why do you torture me so? Give me answers, NOW!"

"Yes. No. I think it does. If two foots are feet then why two moose meese? Because I said so. The aliens did it." The girl answered. "Can I have a diet water?"

"What?"

"A diet water. I want one." She actually said this with a serious face. "You smell like chicken and wangdoodles."

Vlad was silent for a minute.

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?" His castle shook, and a few birds got spooked outside. A small squirrel fell out of the tree and bumped it's head, being knocked out. The authoress felt this with her writing powers of DOOM, and became very mad.

"THE NINJA SQUIRREL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The girl screamed. She raised her arms and a large, jagged hole appeared in the ground. Her eyes glowed red, and skeletons began clawing their way out of the abyss. "_MY ARMY OF THE UNDEAD SHALL FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH!" _

The Skeletons began to chase Vlad, who screamed like a sissy and ran away. Skell got a chair, some popcorn and Mountain Dew, a seat for the squirrel, and sat back to watch.

"This is fun, I'll have to pop back in this universe again tomorrow."

**That was fun to write. I needed to vent out some randomness that I knew I needed a oneshot for. READ AND REVIEW PWEASE! And yes, that was me in the story. I figure I'm a daughter of Hades, because there is no way an insensitive jerk named Marty could be my dad. You gotta love the gods...because of them I have the hammer! **


End file.
